Why I deserve to be the Duke’s Mayo Bowl mayonnaise dumper
Everyone waits for their moment. A time in their lives when the clouds part to reveal sun shining on hallowed ground, and it’s a message from a higher power (or maybe aliens) that a calling has been revealed. Kings called this providence, for Eminem it was his one shot, while Remy in Ratatouille got struck by lightning trying to melt brie.
For me, James Dator, it was this tweet.
I would like to formally announce my candidacy as a mayonnaise dumper at the Duke’s Mayo Bowl. I know the job will have no shortage of amazing individuals, all of whom will have impressive resumes as to why they should dump emulsified sandwich lube on a successful head coach. Many will have more followers, some might have larger platforms — but I’m not here to tear them down in order to make a case for myself. For you see, I approach my entire life like mayonnaise. I believe in supporting others so they can shine and be willing to glue any ingredients together to make them easier to swallow.